Partner Support in Labor- a cheat sheet!
This blogpost is specifically for the partner! Partnership in labor is important to many. The unknown of HOW to help your laboring partner can be daunting, dare we say, scary. This blogpost will hopefully help you feel confident and ready.
As labor begins- many have the idea to stay home and labor as long as it feels right. So we begin there. Early labor can last a while. In fact, a few days! The best advice I have for early labor is distraction. Distract your partner in those early, non-painful-just-uncomfortable moments. Go out to eat, have a friend over, take the dog for a long walk, make a great meal and dessert together (freeze for after baby), have a project or 2 that can be done at this time to take your mind off. My favorite: get together and work on some hand-written affirmations for your birthing space.
As labor begins to get more uncomfortable and contractions are getting closer together, your laboring partner will need your empathy and support. She may not feel like she knows what to do. She may feel uncertain and unsteady. Helping her walk to different areas of the house or change positions, shower, all can be helpful. But ask her “how can I best help in these moments”- and ask in between contractions for most effective communication. ;-)
Active labor is when most of us go “oh wow! This is really happening”. Again- she will need your guidance and understanding. She will begin to have contractions that are closer together and lasting a minute or more. She may have hip or back discomfort. Or trouble getting comfortable. Here are a few helps:
The Miles Circuit is a favorite. It encourages both active rest and specific positions for encouraging labor. You can help your partner as she changes positions, help make the side-lying comfortable with lots of pillows and back support and encourage relaxation. http://www.milescircuit.com/uploads/4/8/1/4/4814341/miles_circuit.pdf
Using a birth ball for pelvic movements and stretching. You can support your partner by being near her so she feels supported while moving on the ball. Offering sips of cold water or electrolyte drink. https://youtu.be/r-vjLkny7yE
You want to help your partner stay well hydrated - sips of her preference of beverage- and help her stay nourished. She may not have a lot of appetite at this point, but a bite of a snack might help give a burst of energy. Some ideas you can help prepare for her: peanut butter and slices of apple, small discs of banana and nut butter, Italian ice or other frozen slushy, granola or protein bar. Again- whatever her preference is, that whats is best for her at that point. Nutrition shouldn’t stop in labor.
At this point you may be at your birth place for the remainder of labor. A great reminder for you as her partner is that transition between places can be tough for the laboring person. She again might feel uncertain or unsteady going to the car. She might have a hard time speaking for herself as contractions advance and need your help in answering questions, presenting her printed birth plan, and finding comfortable positions in her new laboring area.
Using counter pressure as labor advances often feels very good.
Counter-pressure consists of ongoing, firm force applied to one spot on the lower back during contractions. By using the palm of the hand, or pressure on the side of each hip using both hands, this can help localize the inner contraction feeling and therefore help the intensity be a bit more bearable.
The “Dilation Station”. AKA- the Toilet. Being on the toilet can feel comfortable during labor. Or it may make contractions more intense. But typically we relax our pelvic floor without though while on the toilet. Which is where the nickname “Dilation Station” comes in- it can often further labor progression. And sometimes very quickly! While keeping the bladder empty is helpful for labor (a full bladder can keep baby from descending farther into pelvis), and she can do that on the toilet, its also a way to promote rest and you can even have her face backwards, and support her with counter pressure or hip squeezes, or just a loving firm hug.
Your support is invaluable. Your partner needs your steady hand and your willing guidance. Your doula is there to help you both through all of these stages and phases, needs and changes. During your prenatal visit, ask your doula for specific helps and supports of how to help your partner. She can encourage and help facilitate these techniques and positions as you are there for your partner.
Be well!